Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts

Saturday, January 24, 2015

A New Year, A New Direction

Many of the lovely writers of sewing blogs I read are claiming their 'word' for the year. At first I didn't really understand why. After thinking about it for a few weeks, I think I understand, and I've decided to join them. Unfortunately I don't know who started the trend, so if someone reading this does, I'd love to know. Anyway, my word for the year is Family.  2014 was incredibly sad and painful, but I have to also say that there was an over abundance of love and at times, joy. In the weeks and months after my husband's death, my family and friends rallied around me, showing me what true love really is. They have and still are supporting me on this journey of grief and discovery of my new reality. I have good days and bad days, and there is always someone near to help.  I'll be forever grateful to my children, my family and my dear friends, including the wonderful women on my Pattern Patter team, for being there for me through it all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I love you all.
In the coming weeks I hope to get myself on track again, with my sewing and my pattern shop. I've been doing some of each but not really applying myself wholeheartedly. I just haven't had the desire to do my best, and have lost the drive to do anything almost as soon as I start. But for my own sanity I have to force myself to return to the things I've always loved to do. I'll be taking baby steps, but that is better than none at all.
I'll leave you with a photo of my greatest joy, my granddaughter Mackensie,
Take care of yourselves and each other,

Monday, June 9, 2014

Of Love and Loss

I don’t know how to write this post. I don’t want to write it. But, I am told that writing it out will help me feel better in some way, as if the simple act of putting words to paper will take my pain away. I know it won’t. The pain is too deep and all consuming. Three weeks ago on May 19, my husband passed away. It was not expected. It was a total, utter shock, that has not stopped. Three weeks ago tonight, he simply went to sleep and drifted away from me. He felt no pain, he had no idea what was happening. His heart simply stopped. He was only 59 years old. I still don’t believe it, it is too unreal. But deep inside I know it is real. I know it happened and he is gone from my life forever. I didn’t think I could endure this much pain and continue to survive, to function. But, I am, because I have no other choice. I thank God all of my grown children are here with me, because I don’t want to be alone. But I am alone, in a house full of people, for the first time in twenty years.

The last thing we did together was laugh. I am grateful for that. I take comfort in knowing that our last moments together were joyous. I don’t remember if I told him I loved him that night, or even that day. I hope I did. But I know that he knew I did, just as I know how much he loved me.  That is one of the things I am grateful for. I have always felt secure in his love for me. I never had any cause to doubt it. 

My mind is in turmoil, jumbled with memories and questions. So many questions. Why didn’t I see any signs? Why didn’t I wake up? Could I have done something to save him? Why on that night of all nights had he slept in another room? (he had back trouble and didn’t want to disturb my sleep with his tossing and turning) I’ll never have any answers.

I want so desperately to talk to him. To just be with him.

All I can do is to write here the same thing I said most nights when we went to bed.

Good night honey. I love you.

 

 

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Christmas Recap in January

With the new year well underway, I thought I would carry on my tradition of being late to the party. After the whirlwind of the holidays, I was just too exhausted to even think about posting. My fibro kicked in with a vengeance and I spent a few days relaxing, reading other’s blogs and planning the many sewing projects I want to do.
We had a wonderful family filled Christmas, with lots of good food, great company and merriment.

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My granddaughter MacKensie decorated gingerbread cookies for the first time, and was quite thrilled with the outcome!

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There were Christmas concerts at church,

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Please forgive the awful picture quality, quick pictures with my phone were all I could manage. MacKensie is second from the left in the top row. They were all so adorable, singing Jingle Bells while shaking their bells. They all wore their jammies for the performance, adding to the cuteness!
I hope your holidays were as wonderful as ours, and I wish all the best for you and your families for the new year!
Happy Stitching!
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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

MMM, Cake!

I meant to write this post just after my birthday, (in March!!) but never got around to it.  My oldest son baked me a cake!  Not just any cake, but an honest to goodness scratch cake!  I was thrilled, and so proud of him.  I’m not sure what recipe he used for the cake itself,  just a simple white cake that he then filled with real whipped cream and loads of fresh strawberries.  The crowning glory was the topping.  Marshmallow fondant.  I had never heard of it before.  Again, I’m not sure of the recipe he used, but it was pretty much the same as this one.  He said it was really very easy to make, and tasted delicious.  It was also much easier to work with than regular fondant. Enough talk, on to the pictures!

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I was in my sewing room when he gave it to me.

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And the inside……

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Would you like a piece?

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I tried to get a picture of him smiling into the camera, but it just wasn’t going to happen. He is just too shy.

Didn’t he do a fabulous job? You would never guess it was the first one he had ever made.  He had so much fun doing it that he has made a few more for other occasions.  He also loves to cook, and often makes dinner for the family.  Isn’t he wonderful? Thanks again Adam, I love you!

Thanks for reading!

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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Halloween Fun

I’ve had this fabric in my stash for a couple of years now.  I originally bought it for my Dad. A couple of summers ago I made him several short-sleeve shirts, all in fun, bright prints. Over the course of about three months, I think I made him about a dozen shirts, which he loved.  He has always had such a fun personality, and loves to wear bright cotton ‘Hawaiian’ shirts all summer long.  He always has some fun, off the wall project for me to ‘help’ him with.  Earlier this year he and my step-mom went to a ‘Titanic’ Ball.  Everyone dressed in clothing from the era, and the styles were just fabulous. Dad came up with the idea of making a lifejacket suitable to the time, and we spent a fun couple of hours creating it together. Unfortunately I forgot to get a picture of it. I took pictures of Dad and my Step-mom before the party, but never thought to include the lifejacket.

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My most recent project for Dad was a clown costume for work. It was a lot of fun to do, and I will post pictures as soon as I have them.
Now back to the reason for this post!  I made MacKensie a super easy skirt for Halloween. All I did was cut a long rectangle, sewn together with one side seam and my first-ever yoga style waistband. I will be using this method to make waistbands fairly often, it is so easy!

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Getting a picture of the skirt on her was more difficult than actually sewing it. She is always on the move these days so pictures are literally taken ‘on the run’.

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I put the skirt on her to try on after a quick diaper change, so nothing matches. The waistband turned out a little big, but still wearable. Hopefully it will still fit next year. This is the only pic of her standing still – sort of.

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As usual, she is wearing someone else’s shoes. On the wrong feet no less.

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And here she is seconds after the skirt came off. She’s too busy to stop and put her pants on! Lately she has been obsessed with keys.  She discovered the lock on my cedar chest and has been trying to fit a key in the lock ever since. It is so hard to believe she is fourteen months old already.  Time passes so quickly!
See you next time!
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Meet me at the party!

Market Yourself Monday @ Sumo's Sweet Stuff
Marvelous Mess Party @ Marvelously Messy

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Holding on to Summer… Fashion Wise


In my usual fashion, I’m posting something that I made for my granddaughter a few weeks late.  A whole season late! I made this little romper for MacKensie way back in July! I used a piece of cotton blend fabric that I’ve had in my stash for years. I wasn’t too sure I’d like the romper when it was finished, so I used a fabric that I wasn’t worried about wasting. To my surprise and delight, it is cute after all!
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I made a size 1, and it fit perfectly.  The pattern doesn’t recommend the the bum ruffles, but when you have such a cute little bum to dress, why skimp on ruffles? If I ever make it again, I will lower the front neckline slightly, and maybe leave out the elastic at the ‘waist’.  The elastic seems to sit so high on the body that to me it looks strange. 
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Isn’t she adorable? I may be slightly biased, but not much. Isn’t it amazing how quickly babies grow and change?  These photos were taken in mid-July. A month later she looked like this!
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Join me at these great parties!

Happy Hour Friday @ Happy Hour Projects
Feature Friday @ Blissful and Domestic
Friday Fun Party @ Craftionary
Financial Friday @ The Grant Life

Friday, September 28, 2012

Living With Fibromyalgia and Other Happy Thoughts

 

I don’t like to talk about myself.  Especially about my illnesses. I’ve started and erased this post several times now, because each time I do, whatever I write sounds so trite and false. But I feel that it is time for me to write this, for my own piece of mind, if nothing else. I don’t want pity or sympathy,  just understanding, for myself as well as anyone else who is suffering.  I can’t even pretend that I am a skilled writer, in fact I agonise over each word and phrase.  And spelling!  Don’t get me started.  If it wasn’t for my best buddy Spell Check, you would likely think you were reading some lost version of Klingon or something. (Assuming that someone will even read this!)  So, whoever you are dear, brave soul,  please bare with me as I stumble along in my attempt to tell you my story.

Nearly twenty years ago I was diagnosed as Manic Depressive/Bipolar, and to put it quite simply, I went through hell. I had months of twice weekly therapy sessions, and tried any number of anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, searching for the right combination.   Depression completely takes over your life, controlling everything that you think, feel and do. I couldn’t eat, (I lost 65lbs in seven weeks) sleep, or think clearly. During this period I raised my own four children, plus my two stepdaughters.(all under eight years old) It was an up-hill battle, one that many times I was sure I would lose. Without the love and devotion of my husband and family, I’m not sure that I would have made it through.  In time I was better able to handle my illness, and was able to regain some control over my life.  Depression still plays a large role in my life, and probably always will. I still fight the over-whelming sadness and desire to hide myself away from the world nearly every day, but thankfully my manic episodes are much less frequent.

Eventually I was able to get a full-time job, and  I finally felt whole and productive. I felt that I was contributing to society and my family. I felt proud. I worked at the company for eight years, and worked my way up to manager. My job was extremely physical, with long hours, and I loved it. I still kept up my home and cared for my family. I was determined to do everything, and be perfect at it. The only thing I didn’t do was look after myself, and continually pushed myself to the limit and beyond.  Eventually, the demands of my lifestyle caught up to me. In May of 2006 I was diagnosed with  Fibromyalgia.  Suddenly my life was in an upheaval.  Within Months I was unable to work, and ‘retired’ in August of 2006.

Fibromyalgia is a chronic illness, meaning that it is not life-threatening, but it is most defiantly life-changing.  The list of symptoms and over-lapping conditions is extensive and debilitating. Fibro claims the entire body and affects all of it’s functions and abilities. It causes exhaustion so deep that breathing is a chore. Imagine being so physically exhausted that you need help getting to the bathroom, because without it you may not be able to get up and go. I know that sounds extreme, but it is the reality that I and many others with Fibro live with.  Pain is another relentless part of my life. I have two kinds of pain meds, but neither takes the pain away, just dulls it somewhat. Depression has taken over again, and I don’t have the strength or willpower to fight it. I’m not going to list my multitude of symptoms and over-lapping ailments. Because frankly, there are too many, and it is just too depressing.

Fibro has robbed me of so many things. My health, my job,  friends and family that don’t or won’t understand, my ability to do the most mundane chores and the desire and ability to do my favourite hobbies as much as I’d like. What used to take me a couple of hours to sew now can take days or weeks. But the most important thing that fibro has stolen from me is my self-worth and self-confidence.

If you know anyone with Fibro or Depression or any other hidden chronic illness, the absolute best thing you can do for them is to let them know you understand. It is far to easy to judge someone because of what you see on the outside. Just because we aren’t able to keep up with you doesn’t mean that we are lazy or don’t want too. It just means that at that we can’t. You need to look inside a person, and really see what they are suffering, before you judge can them.

I apologise for such a depressing post, but I just needed to get it out. In the next few days I hope to show some of my sewing projects. To leave on a happy note, here are a few pictures of my granddaughter’s first birthday!

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Wednesday, June 13, 2012

MacKensie

Just a quick post this morning to share the cuteness! I took these pictures of MacKensie last night.  Enjoy!

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I know I’m cute!

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Playing with Mercedes.

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Playing with Daddy.

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Have a great day!

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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Stitching By Numbers

Hello everyone!  After organising my pattern collection, AGAIN, I finally decided to open my second Etsy shop.  I am busy filling it with vintage, and not-so-vintage sewing, knitting and crochet patterns.  I’ll also be listing several cross stitch charts and books, and maybe the odd kit or two.  It’s funny how quickly these things add up, and how much room they take in your sewing space! (and the closets, and the basement, and the spare room, lol) I’m very excited about my new venture, and I’m looking forward to more room in my house! For my new banner and avatar I decided to use a picture of my mom, as she was one of my greatest influences, AND she was an avid pattern collector (hoarder?) as well. She was always busy doing something, whether it be sewing, knitting or any other handcraft. Plus, it just makes me happy to see her there, like she sees what I am doing and approves.

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So drop by and take a look! You may just find your next stitching project!

Stitching By Numbers on Etsy

Have a lovely day, and happy stitching!

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Tuesday, January 10, 2012

A Pretty Scarf for a Beautiful Lady

I saw this scarf and immediately fell in love with it.  I knew I had to make it for my Nan, the most beautiful woman I know.  It is very easy to make and I can see a few more in my future, namely for my daughter Hillary and I.  One thing I did that I’m slightly disappointed with. I put far too many flowers near the bottom of the scarf, which makes it heavier, and it bunches them together which hides the crystals and sequins I sewed into the middles of them.  I do love the the soft aqua colour, and so does Nan.  I’m not sure of the width, maybe it is a tad too wide?  What do you think? 
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I'm joining these parties,

show and tell time at blue cricket design
we did it wednesday at sew much ado
will see it wednesday at fabric bows and more
wow-me-wednesday at gingersnap crafts
handmade wednesday at blue eyed blessing
sew and tell saturday at sew country chick

Friday, January 6, 2012

A Hopeful New Year

Happy New Year! As usual I’m a little late on the bandwagon, but my sentiments are just as heartfelt. I hope you all enjoyed a very happy holiday season. We had a good, although quiet Christmas and New Year. Albeit sad, missing our sweet baby MacKensie. Her mom kept her from her dad and us throughout the holidays. We haven’t seen her since mid November, and we are all feeling the strain. I spent most of December sick with one thing or another, finally ending up with shingles, for the second time in six months. I guess that’s what stress will do! I’m finally on the mend, and am trying to have a positive outlook for the new year.
Unfortunately I wasn’t able to do as much sewing for Christmas as I had intended, but I was able to make a bag for my nan. I based it on the "She carries flowers" bag by Sachiko of Tearose Home. I’m very happy with the result, and nan loves it! Unfortunately the only pictures I have are a few I took the night I finished it to quickly email to my daughter. I had planned on taking more before I mailed it off, but naturally I forgot!
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It was fun to make, and I incorporated quite a few different flowers and leaves. It is lined with a burgundy floral print, with one inside pocket.  Nan plans to use it as a knitting bag, so I know it will be well used, as she always has something on the needles!
I finished another project for her today that I will blog about in the next day or so. It involves even more flowers.  It is a lovely aqua colour, and I’d love to keep it for myself! I do have fabric left over, so maybe…….lol.
Happy sewing!
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I'm joining these parties,

tatertots and jello weekend wrapup
check me out saturday at a vision to remember
saturday night special at funky junk interiors
saturday spotlight at craft envy
shine on fridays at one artsy mama
sew and tell saturday with sew country chick
market yourself monday at sumo's sweet stuff
more the merrier monday at diy home sweet home
sew cute tuesday at creative itch

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

On Christmas and other things…


I have debated writing this post for weeks.  Even now I don’t know what to say. That is, I’m not prepared to disclose too much, but I need to get it off my chest.  As many of you know, my son became a father for the first time in late August to a beautiful baby girl. Everyone immediately feel in love with her. She and her mom spent many many hours and days with us, almost living here. Well, about six weeks ago, mom decided that she wasn’t happy with the situation, and broke up with my son.  While it was devastating for my son, and the rest of the family, we all understood that these things happen. For the first few weeks, my son spent as much time with his daughter as he could, which in turn meant that I was also able to see her on a regular basis. Then things started to change.  Mom made excuses not to let baby come over, resulting in visits becoming much further apart. Last week mom decided to effectively cut my son (and us) out of MacKensie’s life.  My son is desolate, as am I. The mom has given my son instructions that he may see the baby once a month at a local coffee shop so that she may collect her child support.  Obviously I am leaving out a great deal of the story, things that I am not able to tell. All I can say is that my son has done nothing wrong.  He lives for MacKensie, and has done as much as he could possibly do for her. The mom has simply ‘moved on’ with a new boyfriend, and has no wish to have my son involved in their lives. This means my son will not see his daughter’s first Christmas and too many other ‘firsts’ to think about. The worst thing? There is nothing he can do about it at the present time. It will be months before a court date could be set.
I just don’t understand. How can anyone be so cruel?
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Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Strange Animals…

 

This is what I found on my sofa the other day…..

 

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Yes, Beau has his legs resting on the back of the sofa, and is lying on Abby’s tail.

Who said cats and dogs don’t get along?  Somebody obviously forgot to tell these two.

 

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